The Friend for the Worst Day

A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17, WEB)

There are friends for the easy seasons, men who are glad to be around when things are going well and quietly disappear when they are not, when the conversation gets heavy or the news is bad. Most friendships are like that, and there is no use being bitter about it. The proverb points to a rarer kind. A friend loves at all times, it says, and a brother is born for adversity. The two lines lean on each other. Loving at all times means loving on the bad days too, not just the days when you are good company, and the second line names the bad day directly, saying that a brother is made for exactly the hour when everything has gone wrong.

This is the man you need in this fight, not a fair weather companion who likes the version of you that has it together, but someone who was, in a sense, born for your hardest morning. When you have fallen and the shame is loud and you would rather vanish than face anyone, that is precisely the moment a true brother is for, the moment he was made for. He does not love you less because you failed and disappointed him. He steps closer, in the exact spot where everyone else steps back, because that is what the word brother means once you take it seriously.

If you have a man like that in your life, thank God for him tonight, because you have something most men never find. And tell him plainly the next time you are struggling, before it gets bad, because hiding from him wastes the gift, and a brother born for adversity cannot help you through an adversity you keep secret from him. If you do not yet have one, ask God for him, and ask to become one for someone else, because the fight is full of men waiting for the friend who will not leave on the worst day.