A Brother in the Cold of December

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." — John 1:5

Brother, every man in B.O.L.D. who has been at this for a few years will tell you the same thing: the week before Christmas and the week after are some of the hardest of the year. Not because the weather is dark. Because the soul is.

Here is why the holidays light up the patterns:

• Family of origin contact. You sit at a table with the people who shaped you and not all of them shaped you well. Old wounds rise. Old patterns rise with them.
• Disrupted rhythm. Your morning Bible time is gone because the kids are home. Your group meeting is canceled. Your sleep is wrecked. The rhythms that have been holding you go quiet.
• Travel + alcohol. Two of the most common contexts for falls in our community. A hotel room and a few drinks is an extremely common combination in fall reports.
• Loneliness in a crowd. You are in rooms full of people and feel completely alone. The thief loves that gap. He has a video tee'd up.
• The deepest grief. This is the first Christmas without your father. Your wife miscarried in October. The marriage you thought you'd have at 45 didn't materialize. The soul looks for a numb.

Pornography promises to numb the cold. It does not. It deepens it.

Here is the plan for the next two weeks. Print it. Tape it to the dashboard.

1. Daily check-in does not pause. Six in the morning, every day, including Christmas day, including travel days. Hand or clear. Tell your team.
2. Tell one brother where you are sleeping. Hotel room, parents' guest room, in-laws' couch — your team knows. The thief works in the rooms no one knows you're in.
3. One bookend with God every day. Even ten minutes. Open scripture. Pray out loud. The rhythm is the protection.
4. No alcohol if you are early in the work. Not because alcohol is sin. Because it lowers the wall in the exact moment the wall needs to be highest. Be a man this season; not a teenager.
5. If you fall, hand it within 24 hours. Christmas is not an excuse. The 24-hour rule is the rule.

And for the brother reading this who has no one — if you do not yet have a team, message the B.O.L.D. ministry on the contact page. We will get a man on the phone with you before the holiday. You are not going to ride this December out alone.

Merry Christmas, brother. The Light has come into the dark, and the dark has not overcome it. Walk in the Light this week.